Being productive gives you a sense of purpose, and people appreciate how much you carry. But lately, staying busy isn't working the way it used to and it’s hard to say no. Maybe it’s familial, cultural, or societal expectations that make your autopilot hard to turn off. And no matter how difficult things become, you might even stay in unsupportive situations longer than you want to.

Maybe you’ve had experiences that are difficult to talk about because they make the room go quiet. Everyone else is sharing memories from childhood, laughing, maybe commiserating. When it’s your turn, the room shifts. People look at you—some with shock, some with sympathy you didn’t ask for, and sometimes with disgust. They try to hide their reaction, but it’s a second too late and you notice. You always notice.

Trust is difficult, but you long for genuine connection. They say they love you, but it doesn’t quite reach you the way you wish it would. When they reach out for a hug, you might feel a tension you don’t fully understand. When they ask for space, you’re surprised by the discomfort that shows up. Maybe you don’t like being alone, but you don’t always want to be touched. Regardless, connection doesn’t feel easy despite wanting it to.

A glass gets dropped and breaks, but your body reacts like you need escape now. Your toe gets stepped on, and something inside wants to snap. It’s your friend having a bad day, but you shut down and watch from a distance. Someone knocks on the door and, for a moment, you feel like prey. Plans get cancelled, and suddenly you’re wondering if they’re upset with you.

You struggle to remember what you did last week or even this morning. You might struggle to recall if you just completed a task or just thought about it. You try to provide a linear narrative of your life, but the details like what year it was or how old you were get confused. Maybe you’re missing large gaps of time. Perhaps you sense something bad happened to you like it’s on the tip of your tongue or hidden just out of sight.

Maybe you’ve questioned your identity, exploring gender or sexuality and came out finding more than one identity feels true. Or maybe you’ve sought help in the past, but the “expert” couldn’t find anything that explains your complex experience. Maybe you’ve been given a few diagnoses or medications over time, but nothing seems to help consistently. You seem to fit too many boxes or none at all.

Everything's fine and also somehow not fine. Your preferences and mood seem to shift unpredictably. One moment you’re grateful, the next you’re dissatisfied. One moment you feel small like a child and the next you feel rebellious like a teenager. Distressing thoughts about not being here anymore might even catch you off guard. You might also struggle with brain fog or a noisy mind that keeps you distracted or confused.

Finding community can be hard when it doesn’t always feel safe to be yourself. You can be different depending on where you are, who you’re with, or what state you’re in. Your interests and skills may vary widely. You want connection, but don’t always experience yourself the same way and this is hard for others to understand. You might not know which version of you others expect, or if there’s room for all of you.